Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Leftover Reject Food (Someone please help me come up with better titles)

I was catching up with someone over the weekend who mentioned that she thought my blog was funny, which reminded me that I do, in fact, have a blog. Hello, blog world! Recently I’ve just been telling my mom and boyfriend about my life and I’ve completely neglected my Facebook acquaintances and internet strangers! I do apologize, you guys deserve better than that.

The inspiration behind this post is, drum roll please, old vegetables and half empty cans of beans, WOOOOOOOOO! I’m leaving Blacksburg on Friday which means that I have to get rid of the food in my fridge. This led me to an amazing curry creation. I called it “leftover reject food” (bet you can’t guess how I came up with that name). I’ve been trying to make a curry that I love for about a year now. I’ve tried a lot of different recipes and finally learned the secret: old food and alllllll the spices! Turns out recipes are dumb and I am a curry goddess. An exaggeration? Absolutely. As a bonus, it was BEAUTIFUL. So many pretty colors. I didn’t take a picture of it though so just use your imagination, you’ve seen food before.

Since I guess this post can’t only be about curry I’ll let you into the scattered thoughts of Keely for the next 12 minutes. Hmmm having a car without air conditioning means that I am powerless to the intense summer heat so the weather decides if I can drive. I was planning on going home one day but it was 90 degrees and I was like, “sorry, mom, if I drive home I’ll die.” Maybe one day I’ll enter the twenty-first century and own a car with magical wind blowing power.

I’ve been volunteering at the farmer’s market and it’s been really great for two reasons. First: I get to buy fresh local vegetables that sit in my fridge and become leftover reject food. And second: I get to practice my verbal skills which are a little rusty since I’m living alone and prefer not to hang out with people.

I started watching Game of Thrones and now I hate everyone who convinced me to watch it before they made all the seasons because now I have to wait years with the rest of you UGHHHHH. 

My younger brother and I have been in a war for the past few months. A letter war. I understand that I need to explain that more. My room in Richmond has a shelf. It’s white. Pretty tall. You get the idea. On top of it are the letters K-E-E-L-Y-O. What could they mean? Apparently I thought the people spending time in my room wouldn’t know my name. My brother used to have letters spelling out his name hanging on his wall. Maybe we just needed more practice with spelling growing up? Anyway, I started rearranging the letters on his wall. You know, because I’m annoying. So whenever I came home during the school year I would change “PARKER” to “KRAPER” or “REPARK.” Eventually he got rid of the letters spelling out his name and placed “RIDDLE” on the wall instead. I guess because he likes riddles? Or because he finally learned how to spell his name. I still need the letters in my room because we can’t all move at such a quick pace. So I started messing with “RIDDLE.” I believe “DIRDLE” was one of the changes. Then I went home a few weeks ago and realized the letters on MY shelf had been changed. Oh I don’t think so, buddy. “YOLEEK” looked down at me from its resting place on the tall, white shelf. How would people know my name now? I thought to myself. But I had an idea. A letter switch that would not only win the battle, but would win the war. I grabbed the “O” from my shelf and marched into KRAPER’s room. I discarded the “R” and the “E” and walked away from my masterpiece. Maybe he’s rearranged the “DILDO” by now but maybe he liked it.

Alright 12 minutes is up.

P.S. Every time I typed “I” in this post I actually typed a lower case “L” and NONE OF YOU HAD ANY IDEA MWAHAHAHA.

P.P.S. I actually love the farmer’s market vegetables and only some of them became reject curry

P.P.P.S. Of course I didn't type a lowercase "L" every time I typed an "I." That would've been ridiculous. But did you believe me? You totally believed me.